Put Up or Love Up?


I’ve been thinking, again! Pondering over people and relationships… ones that are good, ones that work and those that are having their struggles, as most of us have at times. I remember once, many years ago, reading a magazine in a waiting room, somewhere. It was one of those “problem columns” where someone has posed a problem and the readers are invited to give their answers or perspective on it.

The “problem” was with a lady who had been married for a number of years; she was finding her husband’s ways, snoring and his habits very, very irritating… to the point she was wondering if love was over and should she put up with him any longer?

I have remembered the answer that was given… or at least part of it: a lady wrote back to say that her husband had died the previous year and that she missed his irritating ways and habits so much… she would have given anything for him to be keeping her awake with his snoring. She told the lady posing the issue to learn to appreciate, even the irritating ways… because she, at least had him beside her and in her life.

It really struck me then, and frequently ever since, how easy it is to allow irritants to cause us to scratch away at the “itch” until it is so much worse and causes pain. How much better to soothe the irritating things with the balm of appreciation for the person being there, for the things they do and looking for the best in them.

It has changed my outlook since then, if for no other reason than, at times, I may well be the irritant in other’s lives and I need them to love me and bear with me.

The itches may go away, but even if they don’t – the fact we want to “scratch it” shows there’s life and hope and an opportunity to be.kind and … really love !

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